Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
