ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
