i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
