My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize
