i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
