I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
