i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
