I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
