Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
