just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
