and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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