she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
