it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
