I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
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