his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
