you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
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