WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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