i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
She bit a glass in half.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
