barbara walters just said penis...
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
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