It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
