The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
so let's talk penis.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
