this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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