well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
