i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
You're earring is so big in my mouth
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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