Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
