In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
