6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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