who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
