I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
