I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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