i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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