how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I'm experimenting with sincerity
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
