i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
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