Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
