3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Drunk is not a location!
Randomize
