we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Randomize
