his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I just found puke in my bra..
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
