I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Randomize
