I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
