I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
