I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
