with your own penis?
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I can't put those talents on a resume
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
