don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
