Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
