Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I think pants incapable of making pants work
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
