i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
