Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
