It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Randomize
