If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
