he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
