non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
