A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
